Wimpy’s this morning offered free breakfast for essentially anyone who could make it to their nearest outlet. Yep. A mouth-watering offer whose announcement reached famished fans via Twitter.
7am to 8am.
By the way, Twitter users in South Africa aren’t three. So tweets, retweets and related mentions.
Then there’s word of mouth.
So, Wimpy’s Kenya, about that breakfast…
"But Olang’, what makes you think they’ll do it?"
A certain Galilean prophet mentioned something about faith the size of a mustard seed.
Then again, that was two thousand years ago.
"Allegedly," my atheist friend tells me to add.
Deux: President Zuma can walk on air.
So the pioneer of the shower-after-sex principle recently visited the US, presumably to tell the Yanks he found a cure.
Moving right along.
"There were two aircraft, but one of them turned back halfway and landed on a nearby island."
Meet defence spokesperson, Ndhivuwo Mabaya, who said the above.
The story, in short: A plane was chartered to shadow President Jacob Zuma's jet during said recent visit to the United States, as a backup in case Zuma’s jet suffered a mechanical fault during the flight.
There was no need for the backup plane though, as it turned out.
Say it did develop a mechanical fault during the flight. My simple mind cannot picture what would happen next.
Not only does he have the cure (“For what?”), he can…
He can walk on air.
I’m sexy and I know it… Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah…
Top 12 Reasons: Why Mugo, Nyong'o flew out "for treatment"
You know the story by now: 2010, Prof. Anyang Nyong’o (Min., Medical Services) flies out “for treatment” (prostate cancer); a year later, his Public Health and Sanitation partner Beth Mugo flies out “for treatment” (breast cancer).
There’s been a furore about why they flew out “for treatment” when they claim there are capable facilities within the country “for treatment”.
That in mind, there may be other reasons they flew out.
Play in the snow.
Scout for fresh names for political parties.
Play in the rain. (Which started off as snow, but global warming.)
See how the media would lap it up. (Such a pitifully predictable lot.)
Hear what Twitter would say about it. (Such a pitifully predictable lot.)
Play in the cold puddles. (Which just fell as snow, but global warming.)
See how long Kenyans on Twitter would take to forget about it. With bets. (One week tops. Easy money. Such a pitifully predictable lot.)
Shop for leather. (Matters of national interest, those seats. I hear a certain buzz about Italian leather.)
Play in the sand. (Which fell as snow and poof, sublimed. Just like that. Global warming.)
RINGTONE: I address this to you. Over the weekend (I think), I read about you and your car. I then learnt that you drive a Range Rover. What caught my eye though was your comment to the effect that when you show up in such a car, people tend to take you seriously. I have my views on that, but I let people enjoy their freedoms. Then this morning as I patiently followed the queue in the traffic jam around the Mosque in South C, I noticed RINGTONE as the number plate on the Range Rover overlapping and harassing the rest of us to get back in. Is that what you meant by being noticed and taken seriously when you show up? Well in today’s Kenya, your public behaviour is either Uungwana or Ushenzi. Your today’s act is USHENZI.
I suppose he’ll respond to this sometime, because if a pinch on the nose (that may or may not have morphed into something of a gunfight) wasn’t given a break…
Ringtone. With… Wait. No, not the Range Rover behind him. Photo / kenyangospel.com
Good afternoon Ringtone. Right of reply: What say you?
Update, 06 Jan 2012, 1327hrs: Here’s the start of what turned out to be a fun conversation.
Exclusive: Twitter's confidential letter to Larry Madowo
We hope you have been keeping well after your visit to our offices last year whilst on you tour of Silicon Valley. It was indeed a pleasure hosting you, and we’re glad you were able to leave here the envy of many: With a verified Twitter account.
Actually, this letter is as regards this small matter of the account verification.
We at Twitter HQ are rather certain you remember this ninja named Wendi Deng, wife to Rupert Murdoch. (The case linked is that during the UK Hackgate proceedings.)
Photo / dailymail.co.uk
It has been brought to our attention that a Wendi Deng Murdoch Twitter account we verified - and left as such for close to 24 hours - was, in actual fact, a fake.
Although for an old aging couple, we recommend a voice application as a tweeting aid.
In light of these embarrassing developments, we need to take time to seal a few loopholes in our verification process.
We therefore regret to inform you that that delightful little tick after your account name will go missing for a while as we iron out this matter.
Do not read too much into the fact that it’s only your verified account being unverified - temporarily, of course - as we attend to the matter; it’s just that Lady Gaga sent us e-invites to one of her private shows.
We’d also like to state that this temporary un-verification has nothing whatsoever to do with your country of origin, Africa.
Looking forward to reinstating your Verified Status as soon as possible. We hope this will not have any impact on your tweeting habits.
All the best with your noontime business show.
xoxo (Warm regards),
Note: We never use the word “ninja”. The situation mentioned above called upon the use of the word.
Welcome to The Bachelor: The Kenyan Edition, and I’m your host, Marcus.
On today’s show, we bring you a man of many talents: Twitter bigwig, financial expert, gentleman (He’d probably lay down his jacket for you) and all-round good guy. Plus, he probably knows your phone better than you do.
(You want to click the above link, by the way.)
And what lady doesn’t like a guy with a keen eye for detail?
Background to what?
I don’t get it. Why should it be familiar? Doesn’t matter. What matters though, is what this mystical Truthslinger thinks.
What? This Kidero chap “lent itself” the work of a superhero wielding a sling and truth? What was he thinking?
Married to Tom Mboya’s daughter, née Susan Akello Mboya (I’m told.)
Last time he was on Twitter was New Year’s eve. Before which most of his updates were via Facebook. (Hear the collective cringe.)
The guy allegedly running for Nairobi governor allegedly borrowed (without permission, allegedly) the work of a photographer whose blog is allegedly one of the most visited photoblogs on the continent and allegedly used said photo in a poster that’s alleged to be part of the build-up to the 2012 election.
So the stealing has started months in advance of said election. Allegedly.
In all fairness, maybe it was someone in his team that thought:
"Ah, they can’t possibly figure it out if I cropped the bottom half of the photo."
I’m told the Mexicans have a word for that. “Cojones”.
I get the feeling I forgot something.
Oh yes, the cameras.
That’s it for today’s edition of The Bachelor…
Bah. This isn’t working. Forget it.
And Mwirigi, you’re welcome. It’s the least I could do.
Update, Jan 04, 2012, 1553hrs: This Mwirigi… With modesty to boot, I tell you.